All my life I have had the disease of always trying to walk through life with my chin up and my hurts swept beneath the rug! I always try and hold it together in the midst of a chaotic or heart-breaking situation. I seem to always be in the midst of situations that require me to feel like I need to hold them together. Being transparent with my hurts has always translated into being incapable and weak to me.
For example, a little while back I got a phone call from a guy that meant a lot to me and it nearly broke my heart. I haven't admitted it until now, but it hurt a substantial amount. I cried my heart out for a little bit and then felt weak, so I swept it under the rug. I used the whole "I'm fine, just trusting the Lord" excuse when people acted surprised when I said I was fine. Unfortunately when I do this it does me no good and ends up causing more harm! The hurts then begin to turn into baggage that I carry around with me. All this keeping me from experiencing the fullness of God!
So today's a new day! This is slightly embarrassing to have you all read, and my heart feels pretty exposed but who cares. Transparency with others leads to complete surrender and healing from the Savior!
I can thankfully say that there has been healing and forgiveness when it comes to that situation in my life! So whatever you have swept under the rug because it hurt too much to deal with or you thought you could heal on your own, EXPOSE IT! Be transparent amongst the community of people that pray for you, encourage you, hold you accountable, will speak wisdom into your life and always point you to scripture!
We're one step closer to experiencing Christ's freedom through walking in obedience! Feels good, don't it :)
4.28.2011
4.26.2011
Easter Weekend in the 303!
I write to you as I sit in the computer lab trying to drowned out the chaos around me with some new Augustana! Seems to be working quite well! I am excited to share with you my weekend! Forgive me if this post is more than a sittings worth of reading for you. If you have the time, grab a cup of coffee and let's pretend I'm sitting across from you sharing the exciting things the Lord has allowed me to be a part of!
Good Friday
The day started out like any other...with me being bullied on my way to the Downtown Mission! Yep, the real deal! Had some people accuse me of cutting them off when they ran a stop sign! They raced up beside me and started saying horrible things while throwing bottles and trash at my car. I would like to mention that I had a rental car at this time which made it even worse. Thankful for no dents! Each day I am developing a stronger back bone for the ghetto!
On to the good stuff!
I had the opportunity to be a part of the Easter Banquet that the Denver Rescue Mission puts on each year at the Downtown Mission! As I pulled up there were hundreds of men, women and children waiting in line. Nike and Adidas had donated 650 pairs of shoes to give away, we had drs examining their feet, foot washing and a meal for those in line. It was an incredible, humbling and powerful outreach event to be a part of. The state each one of the homeless came in reminded me of how I meet the Lord each day. In desperate need, weary, hungry and helpless. Each day he meets me and is faithful to restore and renew my weary soul with joy unspeakable, strength, and purpose to worship Him!
That night I got to go to my first Tenebrae Service! 5 different churches joined together for this service! The word "tenebrae" comes from the Latin meaning "darkness." In this service on Good Friday, all of the lights and candles on the altar are gradually extinguished after scripture reading until the room is in complete darkness. This symbolized the death of Jesus.
Sunday
Got this crazy idea to wake up at 4:30am and road trip to Red Rocks with my friend, Matt, for their Sunrise Easter Service! I have never worn so many clothes on Easter! It was 35 degrees and rainy but was worth it! There's just something about being out in the mountains with some blue grass worship going on! It will definitely be an Easter morning that won't go forgotten!
This is the first Easter/ holiday that I have been away from family and friends. My good friend was out of town, so I was alone for most the day. I had lunch and dinner alone. Normally this would tear me apart. For the first time I realized that no matter where I was or who I was with I had something to celebrate and that my celebration should be the same! Those were the best two meals I have ever had alone. I felt satisfied in the Lord and content with right where he had me eating my shelter food!
God is so good, gracious and faithful. I am so thankful to be here! I am learning so much each day and being broken of myself. Each day it sinks in more and more that..
Psalm 73:26
Let's be a people that approach the Lord hungry and needy! For He is the strength of our heart and our portion forever!
Miss each one of you terribly!!
I write to you as I sit in the computer lab trying to drowned out the chaos around me with some new Augustana! Seems to be working quite well! I am excited to share with you my weekend! Forgive me if this post is more than a sittings worth of reading for you. If you have the time, grab a cup of coffee and let's pretend I'm sitting across from you sharing the exciting things the Lord has allowed me to be a part of!
Good Friday
The day started out like any other...with me being bullied on my way to the Downtown Mission! Yep, the real deal! Had some people accuse me of cutting them off when they ran a stop sign! They raced up beside me and started saying horrible things while throwing bottles and trash at my car. I would like to mention that I had a rental car at this time which made it even worse. Thankful for no dents! Each day I am developing a stronger back bone for the ghetto!
On to the good stuff!
I had the opportunity to be a part of the Easter Banquet that the Denver Rescue Mission puts on each year at the Downtown Mission! As I pulled up there were hundreds of men, women and children waiting in line. Nike and Adidas had donated 650 pairs of shoes to give away, we had drs examining their feet, foot washing and a meal for those in line. It was an incredible, humbling and powerful outreach event to be a part of. The state each one of the homeless came in reminded me of how I meet the Lord each day. In desperate need, weary, hungry and helpless. Each day he meets me and is faithful to restore and renew my weary soul with joy unspeakable, strength, and purpose to worship Him!
That night I got to go to my first Tenebrae Service! 5 different churches joined together for this service! The word "tenebrae" comes from the Latin meaning "darkness." In this service on Good Friday, all of the lights and candles on the altar are gradually extinguished after scripture reading until the room is in complete darkness. This symbolized the death of Jesus.
Sunday
Got this crazy idea to wake up at 4:30am and road trip to Red Rocks with my friend, Matt, for their Sunrise Easter Service! I have never worn so many clothes on Easter! It was 35 degrees and rainy but was worth it! There's just something about being out in the mountains with some blue grass worship going on! It will definitely be an Easter morning that won't go forgotten!
This is the first Easter/ holiday that I have been away from family and friends. My good friend was out of town, so I was alone for most the day. I had lunch and dinner alone. Normally this would tear me apart. For the first time I realized that no matter where I was or who I was with I had something to celebrate and that my celebration should be the same! Those were the best two meals I have ever had alone. I felt satisfied in the Lord and content with right where he had me eating my shelter food!
God is so good, gracious and faithful. I am so thankful to be here! I am learning so much each day and being broken of myself. Each day it sinks in more and more that..
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Let's be a people that approach the Lord hungry and needy! For He is the strength of our heart and our portion forever! Miss each one of you terribly!!
4.17.2011
The rhythm in which my heart breathes and beats is
To this adoption weaved behind and before in my lungs
Chosen and called
We walk towards you
On this journey of unknown and unfamiliar
Almighty, just and sovereign one
Your presence in thick and all consuming
Take my hand and stay awhile
Meet me here as the storm rolls in
Awaken my soul to sing a new song
May all that is within me cry out to know you more
Expose the dark areas of my heart
So that there is nothing keeping me from you, my only
To this adoption weaved behind and before in my lungs
Chosen and called
We walk towards you
On this journey of unknown and unfamiliar
Almighty, just and sovereign one
Your presence in thick and all consuming
Take my hand and stay awhile
Meet me here as the storm rolls in
Awaken my soul to sing a new song
May all that is within me cry out to know you more
Expose the dark areas of my heart
So that there is nothing keeping me from you, my only
4.13.2011
Exciting things are happening here in Denver, CO!
One of the girls, Deachenae, who I have been tutoring for her GED came in yesterday in almost tears. There is a lot going on in her life but all of it for her good!! The Lord is really working in her life!! I had the opportunity to encourage her and pray for her!! I am so thankful that she has opened up to me and that the Lord has given me the opportunity to share with her how special she is to Him!
2 new woman will be moving into the Champa House Program next week! We are excited for them to begin this journey to meet Jesus and understand their worth and purpose in Him!
I start leading devotions for the women on Tuesdays and Thursdays from now on! I am so excited about this!! Please pray that the Lord would press upon my heart what will minister to them!!
I will be serving at our Denver Rescue Mission Event at the Lawrence Street Shelter on April 22!! This is a special event for the homeless! We will be serving them by foot washing and giving them a brand new pair of shoes!! I am so excited to be a part of this!!
Please continue to pray for these women and that Staff that serves them! May we each be renewed in passion to serve and point them to the Lord each day!
Miss you all!
One of the girls, Deachenae, who I have been tutoring for her GED came in yesterday in almost tears. There is a lot going on in her life but all of it for her good!! The Lord is really working in her life!! I had the opportunity to encourage her and pray for her!! I am so thankful that she has opened up to me and that the Lord has given me the opportunity to share with her how special she is to Him!
2 new woman will be moving into the Champa House Program next week! We are excited for them to begin this journey to meet Jesus and understand their worth and purpose in Him!
I start leading devotions for the women on Tuesdays and Thursdays from now on! I am so excited about this!! Please pray that the Lord would press upon my heart what will minister to them!!
I will be serving at our Denver Rescue Mission Event at the Lawrence Street Shelter on April 22!! This is a special event for the homeless! We will be serving them by foot washing and giving them a brand new pair of shoes!! I am so excited to be a part of this!!
Please continue to pray for these women and that Staff that serves them! May we each be renewed in passion to serve and point them to the Lord each day!
Miss you all!
4.06.2011
So sorry for the lack of updates!
Week 4 here at the DRM, and I am loving it more each week!
One of my favorite things has been tutoring math for the GED...Who would of thought?! One of the girls I have been tutoring for a couple weeks just received her GED last week! I am so excited and proud of her! We are hoping she will move into the Champa House by the end of this month!
I have absolutely fallen in love with the kiddos here! Last week was their spring break, so we had the mother load of kids in childcare for the week! 12 kids ages 0-7! Lots of screaming, crying and chaos but overall a lot of fun!
Monday night I started leading Bible Study for the kids while their moms go to Bible Study! This was the first week of adding some structured time while we watch them. Not to mention the first time I have ever taught a Bible lesson to kiddos who are under the middle and high school ages. I always seem to be the experimental Ginni pig in transitions! Giddy up! How did it go you ask? Well, let's just say I never thought a lesson about creation could be anymore chaotic!! "This is stupid!...Creation is stupid!" So we broke out the play dough REAL fast and walked through each day of creation forming what was created with play dough. LIFESAVER! Monday nights can only get better from here I suppose!
I have officially declared my room at the crossing a cave. There is simply not much light, room for food or space for that matter, making it an official cave!
This past weekend was so much fun! I am meeting really cool people and able to get out and put some adventure and laughing back into my life!! You have no idea how exciting it is to have things to do on the calendar...I'm a freak, I know!
So thankful that the Lord has made this a smooth and fast transition! Such a good reminder on how He provides, prepares, equips and strengthens us when we follow and trust Him! The second I begin to worry or take control is when things fall apart!
Right now in my life I am being so challenged by the fact that the Lord is woven into my being..behind and before! I am so humbled and broken by this. Me? Why? I'm just a beggar at the foot of the cross. I am so unworthy of this grace, yet I take it for granted all the time... Everyday I am praying to be made so weak in my flesh so that I may live a reckless abandonment and complete reliance upon the Lord.
There's just a quick update! Will try to be better about this!! :)
May He be your all, strength and your eyes today!
Week 4 here at the DRM, and I am loving it more each week!
One of my favorite things has been tutoring math for the GED...Who would of thought?! One of the girls I have been tutoring for a couple weeks just received her GED last week! I am so excited and proud of her! We are hoping she will move into the Champa House by the end of this month!
I have absolutely fallen in love with the kiddos here! Last week was their spring break, so we had the mother load of kids in childcare for the week! 12 kids ages 0-7! Lots of screaming, crying and chaos but overall a lot of fun!
Monday night I started leading Bible Study for the kids while their moms go to Bible Study! This was the first week of adding some structured time while we watch them. Not to mention the first time I have ever taught a Bible lesson to kiddos who are under the middle and high school ages. I always seem to be the experimental Ginni pig in transitions! Giddy up! How did it go you ask? Well, let's just say I never thought a lesson about creation could be anymore chaotic!! "This is stupid!...Creation is stupid!" So we broke out the play dough REAL fast and walked through each day of creation forming what was created with play dough. LIFESAVER! Monday nights can only get better from here I suppose!
I have officially declared my room at the crossing a cave. There is simply not much light, room for food or space for that matter, making it an official cave!
This past weekend was so much fun! I am meeting really cool people and able to get out and put some adventure and laughing back into my life!! You have no idea how exciting it is to have things to do on the calendar...I'm a freak, I know!
So thankful that the Lord has made this a smooth and fast transition! Such a good reminder on how He provides, prepares, equips and strengthens us when we follow and trust Him! The second I begin to worry or take control is when things fall apart!
Right now in my life I am being so challenged by the fact that the Lord is woven into my being..behind and before! I am so humbled and broken by this. Me? Why? I'm just a beggar at the foot of the cross. I am so unworthy of this grace, yet I take it for granted all the time... Everyday I am praying to be made so weak in my flesh so that I may live a reckless abandonment and complete reliance upon the Lord.
There's just a quick update! Will try to be better about this!! :)
May He be your all, strength and your eyes today!
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